The Book Knew Before I Did
When I started writing this book, it was called From Paycheck to Profit.
That title made perfect sense, because then, I was writing a book about financial literacy, helping readers to make better financial decisions and to build a stronger financial future.
The project was going well, I wrote chapters about income and expenses, assets and liabilities, debt and savings. All aligned to the title and my plan.
Then something unexpected happened. The real book began to reveal itself.
As I wrote, I found myself wandering through the corridors of my childhood. I thought about my parents, my experiences with them around money and the money stories I heard from my wider family and culture. I remembered the shame of being a teenager who could not afford simple things and the many moments when I did not feel good enough.
I began to see the ways I had used money to prove my worth, seek approval, avoid discomfort, and protect myself from old wounds.
Eventually, I stopped writing and asked myself: Do I follow the path of my thoughts, or do I stick to the plan?
As I ruminated on this question, three other questions emerged:
What would you write if you did not fear judgement?
If you were the hero of your own story, what would you write?
What is your truth?
As I coached myself through the process, I made a decision to step out of the book's way and follow its lead.
I stopped trying to control, I let go of certainty and surrendered to what was emerging. Instead of forcing my vision, I listened to where it wanted to go.
The book asked me to be honest, raw, not to dramatize or sanitise. It invited me to write from my heart and not to filter what felt unsafe or unacceptable. The book challenged me to get curious about myself, my money patterns and my story.
The deeper I went, the more I understood. Patterns that had once seemed random made perfect sense. Thoughts and behaviours that frustrated me revealed their origins. My experiences and relationship with money were traced back to beliefs, wounds, and messages I received.
The title From Paycheck to Profit no longer made sense and the book remained nameless for months. One day in meditation, I received the name.
While From Paycheck to Profit was a book about money; Money, My Secret Shame is a book about our relationship with money.
From Paycheck to Profit described what people wanted and offered tools to help them get there. Money, My Secret Shame explores what people are actually struggling with beneath the surface and offers a path toward healing and change.
The title changed because the book changed. The book changed because I changed. I changed because I surrendered.
Money, My Secret Shame is a book about far more than money. It explores the hidden beliefs, emotional wounds, and inherited stories that shape our financial decisions. By bringing these patterns into awareness, readers can change their relationship with money, reduce shame and anxiety, and create a financial future grounded in intention rather than fear.
